Three years later, I have gotten many answers and have become pretty well-versed in symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment options for the condition of dystonia which I was finally diagnosed with after living with it, raising three kids with it, working full-time and going to school full-time with it, and just otherwise attempting to live my life to the very best and fullest with it. Mind you, it has felt like I’ve been literally birthing a demon out of neck and back for the last eighteen years, but sure as sh*t, I’ve done it. Heck, I’ve said dozens of times and meant it, I would much sooner give actual birth 1000 times over as it would be less difficult or painful than this has been. And, I gave birth before. Three times, in fact. Without any drugs.

The beautiful practices I learned in Lamaze classes over thirty years ago have proved to be some of the most timeless, effective mindfulness techniques I’ve used repeatedly and increasingly over the years, way long before “mindfulness” became the buzzword it is today. So has clean eating, adequate rest, regular and proper (especially, specific to minimizing the problems associated with my conditions), as well as routine stress management or self-care.
Despite the implementation of each of those things, my dystonia was still unmanageable, but without a proper diagnosis or even awareness of what dystonia was, the expectations for my existence have been that of any other middle-aged, average American single parent of adult children is: “Suck it up,” “Just deal with it,” “It could be worse,” as well as, “It’s all in your head,” “We all have aches and pains,” and even, “You’re always the victim.” The cherry on top of that sundae of criticism, judgment, and accusation is being denied disability retirement benefits as a veteran teacher of many years before I even earned my licensure as an Intervention Specialist working with students who have learning disabilities.
There are a number of reasons this was the path I chose, but one of them is most certainly understanding and empathy at so many levels and in so many areas. Regardless, here I am and this is how it is. While years have been spent in attempting to kind of put this together and into motion on the side, my primary focus has been raising children to the very best of my ability, being a teacher to the very best of my ability, and most recently, giving every ounce of my being to simply get better so that others may benefit from the inspiration and hope that could inevitably be gained through the sharing of my story and allowing millions of others who have experienced similar things to recognize and realize that you are not alone. I see you, I hear you, I even feel you, and I support you, and I believe with everything in me that together we can make a difference.